


A Lullaby

by SlendShady



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, FML, M/M, This is sad af you guys, but I promise it gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:40:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlendShady/pseuds/SlendShady
Summary: Don't forget this time.. okay?





	A Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I wrote this like 3 years ago and I was told I should put it up here by some lovely people so HERE'S THE HEARTBREAK YOU ARE WELCOME.

_Close your eyes,_

_It’s okay._

_It’s just the end,_

_Of a long long day._

_Go to sleep,_

_Everything’s alright._

_And I’ll sing,_

_A lullaby._

 

He never could remember the rest of that song, the sweet, soft melody that his mother used to sing to him when he was just a child, lulling the usually reluctant toddler he was to sleep in an instant. He used to know it by heart, would even sing it with his mother sometimes, but ever since the fall of Wall Maria, when the titans flooded the city nearly five years ago, there never was much time to stop and reminisce over such trivial things. All he could remember was that one little chorus, but it certainly didn’t stop him from humming the gentle tune to himself, time and time again as he tended to his duties, sweeping and dusting the barracks out today just as he was asked. He was content, a little happy even, when that comforting melody vibrated from deep within the back of his throat, enjoying the peace of the day that had only just recently begun.

“Hey, stop humming the same thing over and over again. If you don’t know the whole song, don’t sing it. It’s fuckin’ annoying and it’s giving me a headache.”

Well, he _was_ enjoying it.

“Well excuse me for trying to lighten the mood around here a little.”

He didn’t even have to turn around to know that behind him stood Captain Levi. It was impossible to mistake that cold, utterly disinterested baritone thrum that rolled off his lips when he spoke. He also didn’t have to look back to know he was burning a hole into him with that piercing blue glare of his, eyes as sharp as knives, tearing into the back of his head. The thought alone was enough to make him shiver, but not noticeably.

“Tch..”

Such a typical sound to hear from him.

“If you want to lighten the mood around here, start by taking care of your duties like you are supposed to. This is the military, not the damn choir.”

_Sigh._

“Sorry… sir. It was just.. a song my mother used to sing to me, when I was young. It always reminded me of her, even though I can’t remember the entire thing..”

He caught himself in mid ramble, realizing he was probably just annoying the captain even further with his babbling.

“Sorry... I’ll be done in a bit.”

His voice was laced with disappointment as he returned to sweeping the dust and dirt off the floor with the wooden broom, no longer swaying to the soft rhythm of the lullaby. Levi rolled his eyes and just barely chewed on his lip as the guilt began to settle in, exhaling a heavy breath from his nostrils. He was an ass, sure, but he was by no means heartless.

Not completely, anyways.

“Hey, Eren.”

Eren picked his head up and turned to face him, that dejected expression on his face making Levi’s guilt grip him that much tighter.

“If you like that damn song so much, maybe one day, I’ll sing it for you, alright? So you’ll remember.” He let out a small sigh, inwardly cursing himself for being so soft about this.

Almost instantaneously the boy’s eyes widened and glistened with curiosity. He seemed nothing less than stunned by the statement.

“What? You mean you know that song Captain? But.. how?”

He gave an exasperated sigh and bore into the boy with a sharp glance.

“Don’t be such an idiot. You aren’t the only person in the world who’s had a lullaby sang to them.”

“So you’ll really sing it for me?” His eyes sparkled as that annoyingly cute smile of his spread across is face, his voice adapting to a higher, and probably-more-excited-than-he-needed-to-be pitch.

“You’ll have to wait though.”

Eren paused for a moment to process what had just been said, confused, before he pouted a little and gave an annoyed whine.

“Wha-? But, why not now? It’s not like-“

“I said you’ll have to wait, you impatient little shit.” Levi snapped his words to reinforce his statement, throwing in a glare and an eyebrow twitch for good measure.

Eren closed his mouth instantly, but still wore a smile on his lips, genuinely happy that his captain would do such a thing for him. The thought alone even made his stomach flutter slightly.

“I’ll wait as long as I have to Captain!” He exclaimed with newfound eagerness and delight, hardly able to contain his excitement. Why? Well, he didn’t quite know himself. Whether it was because he’d always wanted to know the rest of the song, or just the mere fact that he would hear his captain _singing_ , he wasn’t sure, but either way, he was looking forward to it.

 

 

 

 

_3 months later_

 

Broken, mangled bodies lay ridden throughout the trampled wasteland. The air was permeated with the stench of blood. It was an operation outside the walls that had gone horribly wrong.

It was a battle ground.

_A war zone._

Nobody had expected that their seemingly simple mission of collecting supplies from the village just a few miles outside the walls would turn into a merciless bloodbath. No one could have foreseen the ridiculous number of titans that had flooded the town and caught them all off guard. Not even the Captain, who now lay in in the dirt, groaning in discomfort as his eyes fluttered open, having previously been unconscious.

_How long..?_

Shakily he rose to his feet, the sprain in his angle wrenching his nerves, making him wince and hiss in pain as he fought to remain standing. Deep steel blue hues scanned over the horizon looking out over the nightmarish hell that was otherwise known as just another common casualty of life. His life. _Their_ lives.

_Their?_

He looked around, his eyes locking onto the few individuals that were left standing. His gaze was immediately greeted by Hanji and Ewrin, the two standing and observing the carnage around them. He turned his head off to the right to see Jean, Armin, and a few other trainees, all of whom were nursing their own wounds and collecting what supplies had been spared. He looked to the left, just more trainees gathering what they could. Carefully he scanned each face, everything seeming normal. Well, as normal as it could after such a devastating disaster. But something.. Something was still missing.

_Where’s Eren?_

He felt his heart drop as his usually stoic composure began to waiver, his eyes flicking around wildly as he limped with teeth gritting agony, searching, frantically looking for any sign of his subordinate, his brat.

_His.._

He hobbled over towards a crumbled building, utterly destroyed by the battle that had taken place not too long ago. Stumbling over large chunks of stone and slipping over the gravel he came closer, carefully examining the ruins until his ever observant stare locked onto a splash of green against the gray stone, a hint of navy and white peeking out from one of the folds. Next to it lay something else, tan in color, accented with splashes of glistening red. It looked to be someone’s hand.

“No..” He silently uttered to himself as his heart pounded against his ribs at a quickened pace, rushing as fast as he could with a gimp leg over to the pile of rubble so he could get a better look to see what unfortunate soul lay their claim to this broken tomb. Part of him feared what he may find, but the other needed to know for sure. He just needed to know. He hoped desperately, that he was wrong.

He wasn’t.

His body froze as his eyes flickered back and forth, taking in what lay before him, his entire being beginning to tremble.

The annoying little fuck that smiled so much it made his eyes sore, the idiot that never knew when to shut his damn mouth, the little shithead that couldn’t follow a single order without giving him some smartass remark, that fucking… brat.

_His brat._

There he lay, sprawled on his back, his uniform torn and tattered, soaked with the blood that pooled around his head and torso. From what he could see, it looked as though the back of his skull had been split. A large, deep gash marred his chest, starting at his collar bone, diagonally extending out to the underside of his arm, overflowing with that thick, crimson liquid. His chest was moving however, shallowly, up and down. His eyes were open and staring up into the sky, looking almost dazed.

“EREN! _EREN!”_

Levi skidded to his knees down into the gravel, pressing his shaking hands against the wound on his chest, trying to stem the flow. The blood poured out onto his hands, over his knees, soaking everything.

_Oh God OH GOD PLEASE NO._

There was so much blood.

“Ahhh- AHHH!!” He cried out, his face twisting with pain. “S-Stop.. please.”

“It’s going to be okay!” Levi shouted desperately, lifting Eren into his arms, cradling his body against him like a child, crimson drenching his shirt. “We’re going to get help- It’s going to be okay.. Everything is going to be.. okay.”

His eyelids fluttered.

“EREN!”

He was losing his focus. His breathing was labored as he turned his head to the side and hacked in a sickening tone, even more crimson staining his lips.

“Levi…” His voice was weak, his eyes, distant, as though he were far away.

He looked down at the boy’s face, his lips quivering as that musky metallic smell filled his nostrils.

“W-Will you… just.. hold me.. for a l-little while? Please… It’s c-old.”

He doubled over Eren’s larger frame, clinging to him tightly as his entire body shook violently; he was a leaf in the wind.

“Not you… anyone but you Eren- please..” His heart pounded relentlessly, almost painfully against his chest.

A small smile passed over his blood stained lips, his eyes closing halfway. “Levi.. please don’t cry.”

The captain hadn’t even realized it before, suddenly aware of the warm tears that streamed down his cheeks, rolling thickly off his jaw to drip down into the blood that pooled at his chest.

Shakily Eren reached up with one hand to caress his face, rubbing his tears away with his thumb as he continued to smile.

“P-Please d-don’t..” He turned his head to the side for a moment to draw in a struggled breath. When he looked back at him, his eyes were glassy, his breathing no more than short, pained gasps. “Please… d-don’t cr-y.. I-It’s.. o- ngh… “ He gasped again for a decent breath, coughing painfully. “I-It’s o-okk-ay..”

Levi’s face twisted with distress. He grasped the boy’s hand, pressing it against his face tightly. “Don’t leave.. Eren- please.. I’m begging you.”

He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but no sound left him before he closed it again. Suddenly he noticed Eren’s hand was growing cold, like marble against his skin. “No- Eren-“ He pressed his hand tighter against his face, trying to warm it back up. “I need you- please! Who’s going to annoy me now? Who’s going to smile like you did? Who’s going to be a smartass when I give orders?! Y-You… stupid brat…!”

The brunette was crying too now, sorrow leaking from his words.

“I-I’m sorry… but.. c-can you- d-do one… last thing- for me?”

He nodded.

“S-Sing that s-song… p-lease..”

With a shaky breath he gathered his subordinate up in his arms tighter, rocking back and forth as he forced his words past the lump in his throat, past his whimpering sobs, trying to keep his composure well enough to sing for him. He buried his head into that brunette hair, his soft tone trembling out to him, picking up from the portion he always left off at, silently hating the bitter irony of those lyrics that rolled off his tongue.

 

_It’s time for you,_

_To get some rest._

_But you know who,_

_I love the best._

_So come on darling,_

_Breathe a sigh._

_And I’ll sing you,_

_A lullaby._

His breath hitched in his throat as he stifled another sob, pressing his trembling lips against Eren’s forehead. “Don’t forget it this time… please.. I-I love you Eren.. I love you.”

He paused for a moment.

“Did you hear me?”

He lifted his head to look down at Eren.

“Eren?”

He moved no more, dark lashes resting delicately against his cheeks, his lips parted just slightly. He looked as though he were sleeping peacefully.

Those eyes would never open again. Those lips, never smile again. No more enthusiasm. No more of that hopeful, shining gaze. No more of that annoyingly delightful laughter.

Levi shuddered violently. His throat clenched up as his chest heaved and jerked. “Ngh.. n-no..”

The realization slammed into him, hitting him hard like a ton of bricks.

He threw his head back, his wail piercing the air like the lone, tormented shriek of a tortured soul.

“ _UAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”_

His voiced echoed through the sky like thunder, his rocking becoming a mournful sway as he clutched Eren’s body tightly against him. This had to be a nightmare. A cruel, twisted, sickening nightmare. He ran his fingers through Eren’s hair, pressing his forehead against his as the tears relentlessly rolled down his cheeks, dripping delicately onto his lifeless face. He couldn’t believe it; he refused to believe he was gone. He refused to believe he was never coming back.

“Wake up, Eren, wake up! Oh god please wake up..!”

His body slowly became heavier in his arms, now nothing but pure deadweight.

“Open your eyes Eren! Please, Eren!! I need you to open your eyes! God please Eren open your eyes.. I need to know that you are still with me.. You can’t leave me like this!!" He was in hysterics, his vision blurred so badly from the tears that burned in his eyes that he could barely see.

“OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!” He screamed, his body harshly shuddering as he clenched his eyes shut and doubled over again, burying his face in that mop of brunette hair. The blood was everywhere, consuming the two of them with its haunting crimson hue, mocking him.

For seemed like an eternity he sat there, holding the boy against himself, sobbing violently, never even noticing the squad members who had circled in from a few meters away, all staring with horror and distress in their eyes. No one dared to move closer. No one dared try to separate their captain from the corpse he clung to so desperately. All they could do was watch as their commanding officer collapsed under the emotional weight of it all.

Humanity’s strongest soldier.

_Broken._

“I-I’m so… s-sorry..” A hiccup broke past his bitter sobs as he shook his head, the pitch of his voice heightening slightly in a distraught manner. “P-Please… Eren.. please… f-forgive me..”

 

_I’m sorry I made you wait…_

 

_A memory_

_A gentle breeze flowed through the autumn air, carrying the wilting leaves of the nearby trees with it. Delicately they came to land at the feet of the two who stood in the shade beneath the large oak, watching the horizon, sharing a peaceful silence until the taller of the pair parted his lips._

_“Hey.. Captain..?” A voice so soft, so sweet, and so undeniably unmistakable pierced the quiet._

_“Hmn?”_

_“Do you think… maybe one day after we die.. we will be reborn?”_

_Blue hues shifted to gaze over at the other, pouring into those deep emerald orbs that shone with sincerity and curiosity. That iconic smile, one he could never in a thousand years forget, curling the corners of the brunette’s lips._

_He paused._

_After a few moments of silence, he turned back to look out over the horizon, the wind fluttering through his dark locks._

_“I don’t know…”_

_The boy’s gaze followed his captain’s, returning out to the scenery before them, watching as the sun slowly began to fall, deciding not to press the question._

_Normally he wasn’t one for silence._

_But this.. this was just fine._

 

 

_Two thousand years later_

 

He sat on an old, worn bench at the outer edge of the park, one arm resting atop the back of the bench frame, his head inclined slightly to look up at the trees that shaded him. Each leaf shuddered in the cool breeze, the occasional few falling to litter the ground with sprinkles of orange, yellow, and red. Fall was here again.

He wore a sleek, black coat that hugged his frame slightly, a casual deep red t-shirt peeking through the opening, leading down to a pair of slightly faded, deep navy jeans. Around his neck was a striped scarf, closely matching the color of his shirt. The attire was casual, but still very nice, nonetheless.

 

_Why..?_

His mind wondered back to that one single memory that stood out amongst the rest.

 

_Why would I be thinking about that now?_

 

When his gaze dropped back down he looked around at the few passerby’s who strode along in the nearby area. Families, children, lovers.. smiles all around accompanied by laughter and loving embraces.

He sighed deeply to himself and propped his elbows on his knees, resting his face in his palms.

He’d lived through more than a hundred lives, each one filled with the same grueling pain and misery, each one never feeling complete. He’d never felt whole since his first life. He trudged on though, waiting… waiting for what he knew was missing in his life.. in all of his lives. Maybe it would never come.. Maybe he was wasting his time, but he couldn’t help but stay attached to that one, single strand of hope.

Slowly that sweet little lullaby came to his mind; it had been permanently etched into his memory.

He parted his lips, and began to sing to himself in a soft whisper.

 

_Close your eyes,_

_It’s okay._

_It’s just the end,_

_Of a long long day._

_Go to sleep,_

_Everything’s alright._

_And I’ll sing a lullaby._

_It’s time for you,_

_To get some rest._

_But you know who,_

_I love the best._

 

His voice hitched slightly as the pained memories flashed before his clenched eyes.

Suddenly a voice sounded to his side, a sweet, soft tone picking up the song where he stalled.

 

_So come on darling,_

_Breathe a sigh._

 

He lifted his head slowly, turning his gaze to the precious vocals that sang out to him in a voice he couldn’t possibly mistake as it finished out the tune.

 

_And I’ll sing you,_

_A lullaby._

 

His eyes widened as a delicate, gentle hand caressed his cheek, wiping away the tears he hadn’t even realized he was shedding. His heart stopped for a moment. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak as he stared in disbelief.

Bright emerald eyes looked down upon his frozen figure, a warm smile accompanying that tender gaze as the hand continued to stroke his cheek.

“Please don’t cry anymore… Everything is going to be okay.”

_I didn’t forget._

_Captain._


End file.
